So 25 years has come and begun to go. It was a blow out of a good time on the actual day of celebration. I can't think of better people to spend the evening with. (of course I could definitely name a few that I wish would have been there. Sully, Aaron, Dominic, Thomas, Forrest, Saylor, Drew.) It was a night of celebrating, making new friends, and ringing in a new chapter of my life. Although now that I am 25 I can't help but reflect and compare what I thought my life would be like to what it is now.
I can tell you that professionally, I find myself to be in a position that is close but not close at all to what I wanted. I always thought that I would be teaching English in the suburb of a big city. Nowadays I find myself teaching. But that is about the only similarity to what I envisioned in high school and college. I find that I have more responsibility than I ever wanted in my career at this point, and at times, find it hard to connect with my students and subject. Theater was never supposed to be a job for me. I don't think I ever wanted it to be. but none-the-less, I feel fortunate for the position I have and have never taken for granted the opportunity that I have been given. I just wish I would feel half as good at what I do as everyone keeps telling me I am. But I'll carry on and keep doing my best to stay above water and maybe teach a kid or two.
Where I am at geographically? Never where I intended. I always thought myself made for the city life. Or at least a more suburban atmosphere. I think that, overall, the rural "down on the farm" small town lifestyle will never be home for me. It is interesting and it has been very good for me. But I would be ignoring a huge part of myself if I didn't admit to feeling meant for larger cityscapes.
As far as the personal life, 25 isn't too far off. I never imagined I would be married. Even at 18 I knew I wouldn't be ready. Not even close. But I have a great many friends that fill any void that could possibly exist and that makes me smile. I am well adjusted. Even after all the tribulations in high school and college. The relationships that have come and gone and the friends that I will never forget and unfortunately have forgotten. I remain a level headed person with a good head on my shoulders. I think I have mom and dad to thank for that. Along with a good many other attributes that I credit to those two amazing people. I am financially independent. I am confident that I will remain that way, and I feel like no matter how much I crave to have my old simple life in Michigan back, I have grown into one damn fine adult.
I can say that looking back on the last 25 years that the regrets are few and far between. I don't buy into the idea that people live with "No Regrets". I think that is just something that hipster kids tell themselves so they don't have to feel bad about making poor decisions. But I can honestly say that I regret very little. I have lost friends over the years, and done things that I will never be okay with. But overall, I have lived a good quarter century.
I have gone from grade school to high school to Central and landed in Kansas. I honestly don't know where the next 25 years will take me. But I can only hope to live them more fully than I have these past 25 and to attempt to be a better person in the time that I have. The past years have been all I could have asked for and more, along with a hell of a lot of surprises. So thank you to everyone who has come along on the ride with me. It's been a good time so far, and we aren't even halfway done! (at least I don't think we are. But hey..what the hell do I know? I'm only 25!)
Cheers to another 25!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
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